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Increasintensity?

Published
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Heimdall
on May 20, 2006
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Are you prepared for something odd? :-)

One year ago, I was experiencing a series of insights and cognitions, gradually increasing in both density and intensity. This experience eventually reached its culmination in the early morning hours of May 23rd, 2005. After the shooting of the “party scene” for “Jenseits”, I spent an inspiring night in the company of two dear friends. It was so overwhelming that I noticed how my mental capacities became positively exhausted. I made a remark about how useful the ability to expand one’s mental capacities might be. I really had no idea… yet.

Upon returning home, I suddenly felt compelled by my inner voice to sit down on my bed and to simply “let things happen”. The majestic wave appeared without warning: profound and relentless it came crashing down right over me, yet it caused no damage - washing away time and space. Although it was dark, I noticed a light around me. Although it was cold, I felt warmth on my skin. With closed eyes I could perceive the previously unknown, an experience for which there are no words. My whole body was trembling with awe. The doors of perception were opened, and I found myself wide awake for the first time.

It was literally a wake-up call: the first of its kind, followed by many others right up to the present, which I heeded but partially. Fear, doubt and confusion delayed my progress for almost a year. Now the year draws to a close, and I notice an increasing density and intensity of insights once again. And what now? - I have already made my experiences about how not to heed the call, about how not to follow the path. And I have seen glimpses about what happens if I do. A glimpse is not enough; it is nothing to be merely talked about either.

Ooops, I did it again. Enough words now! :-)

5000+ pages to read …

Published
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Heimdall
on May 4, 2006
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The books I have received recently (birthday gifts and Amazon orders) contain far more than 5000 pages. How many seasons will it take me to read them all? Some “older” items on my ever-growing planned reading list are not even included yet (Tolkien, Eco, …). And then there are lots of math & physics scripts, too.

In order to satisfy my curiosity, I have started reading about a topic called “General Semantics”. The first book on my list, “Language in Thought and Action” by S.I. Hayakawa (late US senator), provides a very good introduction as it combines some of Alfred Korzybski’s theories with aspects of everyday communication, society, politics, media, advertisement, etc. So far it does not increase the complexity of thoughts (as I had previously suspected), but rather the awareness of language, thoughts and abstraction processes. Thus I can highly recommend this book.

My next books on the subject are “Drive Yourself Sane” by Susan & Bruce Kodish (a simplified and application-based approach towards General Semantics) and “Science and Sanity” by Alfred Korzybski. The former book is much thinner and less “scientific” than the latter 900-pages volume. I guess that with this combination I am well equipped for the upcoming summer. :-)

And then there are books like “Gödel, Escher, Bach” by Douglas R. Hofstadter (824 pages, considered a “life-changing must-read” by many people), “The Elegant Universe” by Brian Greene (448 pages, probably a very useful and entertaining complement for my ongoing String Theory lecture), “The Holographic Universe” by L. Susskind & J. Lindesay (200 pages, a lot of black hole physics, information, entropy, and the “Holographic Principle”… sounds very intriguing!), “The Road to Reality” by Roger Penrose (1136 pages, explaining the whole world with a mixture of prosa and formulae in this “Complete Guide to the Laws of the Universe”), “The Zahir” by Paulo Coelho (350 pages), “The Abhorsen Trilogy” by Garth Nix (1700 pages, a fantasy epic recommended to me by Mario), some scientific cooking books to pose with my knowledge about chemical and physical processes in the kitchen (just kidding!), and many more …

I suppose I shall not buy any new books until the year 2010. :-)

How Weird Are You?

Published
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Heimdall
on April 19, 2006
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I’ve always had a suspicion about this…

You Are 60% Weird

You’re so weird, you think you’re *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

Ancient Mystic’s Wisdom

Published
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Heimdall
on March 31, 2006
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I currently don’t even find time for blog entries, when there is so much to write! But there is always enough time for the ancient wisdom of mystics - this one is attributed to Meister Eckhart (my translation):

A sage was once asked: “Which is the most important hour that one experiences, who is the most meaningful person one encounters, and what is the most necessary deed?”
The sage answered: “The most important hour is always the present, the most meaningful person is always the one you are facing, and the most necessary deed is always love.”

Recollection of Past Events

Published
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Heimdall
on March 31, 2006
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My beloved girlfriend turned my birthday (March 14) into a most wonderful experience. We also had dinner in a place called “Pharaonentempel” which resembles an ancient egyptian temple both from the inside and outside. The exquisite meals were truly delicious!

Two days later I had a very inspiring conversation with one of my friends from the “good old Amiga times”. The day after, ironically just when I thought that life was good, I encountered some heart problems and thus became painfully aware of my still present fear of death. Fortunately it turned out to be quite harmless, but I should have my heart checked by a specialist nonetheless.

On Saturday (March 18) I celebrated with my friends in the “Sägewerk”. Some of them even came down all the way from Vienna! My brother wrote me a wonderful poem. I actually got far too many gifts but gladly accepted all of them. :-)

The following week passed quickly, and was dominated by my efforts to establish a more “systematic approach” towards my tasks, issues and future development. I will give a more detailed description later!

Last weekend my girlfriend and I watched “The Constant Gardener” together, which we both enjoyed very much. I shall write a short review soon. The movie also made me think a lot, even more and harder than usual. During this week I had some interesting insights at night which are difficult to explain right now, along with more heart troubles even in my dreams. Is that a reminder to focus on the essential things? I am sure I should take it that way.

Chess + String Theory = :-)

Published
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Heimdall
on March 12, 2006
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We did it again! Last Friday, in round 8/11 of the Stadtliga Graz, the mighty Schachgesellschaft defeated the team of Styria Graz with 4,5:3,5 points (their first defeat of this season). I contributed to this glorious result with a victory. Thus we are steadily becoming the most feared team of the league: young, strong, and fearless!

Otherwise my studies keep me very busy. I visit many lectures in this semester, including an “Introduction into String Theory“. We, a group of students and two university professors, are trying to introduce ourselves to this weird state-of-the-art branch of theoretical physics, following a book from Barton Zwiebach. It encourages me to refresh my dusty knowledge about many other important subjects (analytical mechanics, quantum mechanics, electrodynamics, …).

Programming in MatLab for “Computer Simulations” is fun, too. Although I have already completed most of the required examples two years ago, it’s good to get back into it. If I had ten lives, in one of them I might have become a programmer (writer, musician, monk, chess master, …). But in this life, I shall now rise to the challenge of physics!

What D&D character am I?

Published
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Heimdall
on March 12, 2006
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I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Ranger Bard

Alignment:
Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered ‘normal’.

Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going and, because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are effectively immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existence.

Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and frequently make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.

Deity:
Mielikki is the Neutral Good goddess of the forest and autumn. She is also known as the Lady of the Forest, and is the Patron of Rangers. Her followers are devoted to nature, and believe in the positive and outreaching elements of it. They use light armor, and a variety of weapons suitable for hunting, which they are quite skilled at. Mielikki’s symbol is a unicorn head.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy of NeppyMan (e-mail)

Forever Young

Published
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Heimdall
on March 6, 2006
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A week ago, my great uncle celebrated his 80th birthday. He still looks like 60 and lives almost like a 20-year-old. A rare phenomenon - and he even used to smoke like a chimney! Maybe his constant laughter and cheerfulness is what keeps him so young and healthy.

As for myself - turning 27 in eight days -, just today my age has been estimated as something between 30 and 40 years by some very young kids. I tried to shrug it off with a smile and put the blame on their not-yet-fully-developed discernment skills.

Sometimes I feel very old, and sometimes I feel very young. In the last two years the old-age-feeling dominated. Now it’s just about time for a rejuvenating cure! - Today I feel rather like some strange animal … let’s see how this develops.

Ho-ho-ho!

Published
by
Heimdall
on February 25, 2006
in Fun
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Laughing is important - it is healthy and instantly makes you feel much better. Here is my first attempt to cure miserable days. :-)

Celebrity Yawning
Revenge of the Hoff
Mercedes vs. Granny

A summary without focus

Published
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Heimdall
on February 25, 2006
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Here come the highlights from the last few days: On Sunday Hope and I visited my brother and his girlfriend in their lovely new flat. We spent a wonderful and very inspiring evening with drinks, dinner (cooked by my brother), games and long philosophical discussions.

On Monday evening I overcame a temptation and felt that life was good. Later I made some slices of bread for dinner - with focus and full attention (which was really quite difficult to maintain until the end). Mario, who once again knew it all, drew me an apple.

On Tuesday I tried to memorize one of Shakespeare’s love sonnets as a surprise for my girlfriend. During the evening I lost more and more of it, and was slightly frustrated when I went to bed. But when I woke up in the morning, everything was there again.

A simple phone call on Wednesday totally dispelled my inner peace, and I was mainly frustrated about letting minor things so intensely take hold of me. My stomach reacted likewise with irritation during the night. My discomposure was of course quite unnecessary.

On Thursday I listenend to an old man’s very interesting war- and post-war-experiences. I think that for us (the younger generations) their (the older people’s) perspectives can be quite valuable, especially when you see how some things change and others don’t.

Today I am wasting enormous amounts of time and energy in front of the computer, and occasionally try to focus - in vain. It feels as though this week is passing far too quickly!