Thursday, 17th June 2021
I woke up early, grabbed my phone, read a comment from Odd asking if I would also come by Norway on this trip, and read another comment from Y. Sinking back into sleep, the feather still next to my bed, a series of dreams unfolded.
Learn to dream when thou dost wake,
from “The Mistress of Vision” by Francis Thompson
Learn to wake when thou dost sleep.
Sequence 1: In a large house, I am sharing the bed with a petite, dark-skinned young woman. We are both around 20. Clearly this young woman is Y (whom in reality I haven’t met before her late 30s) although she also reminds me of my first partner. We are under one blanket, and it seems that we are not supposed to be too close because of her parents who are also home. Y places her head on my shoulder and chest, and I lean my head against hers and wrap her in my arms. Our bodies become more closely entangled, holding each other tight. Y seems to desire more, while I make sure we don’t go too far. I put the blanket aside and notice I am naked, yet not ashamed at all. I find my boxers and put them on, not for my own sake, but to protect Y from possible unpleasant consequences through her parents. Scene change.
Sequence 2: I am driving with someone (Y?) on a hot Summer day, intending to park the car in a small lot. A policeman blocks that part, so I manoeuver to turn the car and leave. I see Odd in a car nearby, and we exchange some words through the open windows. I continue driving to an excavation or construction site that seems located in the US, perhaps in NYC, although the scenery altogether looks more like Italy. There is a large gathering of protesters who are opposing plans for building manmade things on this land. A policecar is approaching from behind with blue lights, and I stop to let it pass through a narrow passage before me. Yet the policecar waits and the driving cop ushers us to go first. We arrive at the site, now walking rather than driving. I see a CERN colleague, Claudia, many indigenous people, news reporters, and some very ancient trees. I am carrying a camera and microphone too, as if being a journalist, and I feel like one. Then I look more intently at the trees … and everything falls silent around me. I become one with the trees. They look like olive trees, standing on leg-like trunks. I feel a surge of Kundalini energy rising and accumulating in my solar plexus area (for the first time ever in a dream, as far as I can remember!) and I get close to sneezing to discharge the intense energy, but manage to maintain it so it can circulate through me. The thought occurs, “This is almost like a dream, but it’s real!” I start floating and drifting uphill, where the people too are walking backwards and uphill in a row, as if to take a position from which they will make their stand. I feel awestruck by the sacredness of this moment. There is a direct connection to the land, the people, the trees, to everything. And I remember. I remember my promise to the Cedar tree in Seattle. I remember that I too am here to stand up for the trees. Scene change.
Sequence 3: Again with Y, now in our 40s, at a massage parlor close to the previous scene. I am sitting comfortably in a reclining chair. We are naked, which feels again perfectly natural. Y is performing some kind of acrobatics together with another woman, and declares that she “already has some experience with this”, that she is already knowing something that others will be catching up with in their own time. I awaken.
I immediately made a voice recording to remember these dreams in vivid detail. The feather was still there.
The day was filled with meetings, close to seven hours of screen time. These included a presentation I gave about applications and possible benefits of the “Systemic Konsensing” method in science and research, exemplified by experiences with the Mindful Researchers.
As the day proceeded, an inner voice commanded me to “get off the fucking screen.” I still had some things to do and further meetings scheduled, including a couple of sessions at the Toward A New Way of Being With Plants 2021 conference. Now the desire to let go of all meetings and work, to dive deeper into the journey, became loud and clear. Not yet, not yet, but soon.
Soundtrack of the day:
None.