I once had to protect myself,
learned to defend my boundaries.
“Yes, but”, I said to prove my point.
Or so I thought. The “and” that liberates
came slowly and discreetly.

This is not about “the other”.
This is not about “my self”.

They say, “the heart sings songs long before
the mind counts profits” –
I say, “the soul knows its destiny long before
the traveler directs their footsteps.”

Here we are.
You. I. This moment.
This moment of truth. Here, now –

I seek solitude, not company.
I seek trees and ravens, not humans.
I seek silence, not words.
I seek to be wrapped by salty ocean water,
not by my lover’s tight embrace.

It is not because I dislike them –
company, humans, words, and lovers.
It is because my way to be one
with myself, with them all, with the world
is now through solitude and silence,
and I find access to them
through ocean, tree and raven.

This is the “and” of all-one-ness.
This is where you and I will meet.

Journal entry on Saturday, 19th June 2021, early morning